Home in Nqiningana

We arrived in Nqiningana to yet another funeral, so far we have been averaging 2 per week. It is estimated that in this region that people living here spend 70% of their income on funerals, and I can understand why now that I am here to see with my own eyes. There are many reasons for the frequent funerals, the most frequent one being that this is home to many many older people who simply pass away from old age. There is also HIV/AIDS in this area, the most common reason for the under 40 deaths.

 Funerals here are very different from home, there are no funeral homes, the family comes from all over the country to help, as well as family friends. Women and men are entirely segregated, busy doing their respective jobs. Women spend their time together cooking and preparing for the large meal which will feed the many people in attendance. Men spend their time digging the hole for the casket, killing the sheep or cow (depending on how many people come and how much the family can afford) and cleaning it to prepare it for cooking. The elders sit (women with women, men with men) together and talk about community events. 

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a strict vegetarian, people ask me if I mind the animal killing part. To be truthful I wish that the whole world were vegetarians, but if people do choose to eat meat then this is the best way to do it in my view. The animals live a 100% free life, eating grass, being in the fresh air and sunshine. Then one day they are "chosen" and killed in a very respectful and fast way. It is in stark contrast to the brutal regime of industrial agriculture which is where 99% of your meat is coming from. I also really respect their closeness with the animal that they are about to eat, they raise the animal, care of it, then with their own hands kill the animal and prepare it. There is no suffering, and there is also no waste. If you are going to eat meat then this is the way to do it!

I must admit, trying not to sound crass, that I actually really enjoyed the day. On other occasions in the past I have felt intimidated by events such as this due to the language barrier and very different culture. But this time I knew enough Xhosa to sort of understand a tiny bit of what was going on, and there were people from the cities visiting who could speak English. It was also a really wonderful opportunity to meet many many many new family members who I have not met before. Everyone and I mean everyone had heard of me before meeting me, and when they saw me they ran up and greeted me, often with a hug. I am still told that I am the very first white person in the Diya clan which is absolutely remarkable to me. Although I suppose the more I am here the more I begin to believe people who tell me this. Everywhere we go people approach us to shake our hands, people yell from across the street to tell us how excited they are to see us and my personal favorite is when I hear a group of people giggling and then they greet me in Xhosa, "Molo makoti" and then I respond in Xhosa also, then there is more giggling. People are very very very welcoming of me, and I feel proud to be a makoti (Xhosa new bride). 

The bus which connect Nqiningana and other villages to the neighboring city of Queenstown

The men preparing the animal for consumption

The community gathers to bury yet another loved one

Just a few of the ladies that I spent the day with. We had a really nice time together,
cooking, talking and enjoying the experience together.