I must say that I normally try to keep my posts focused on things of importance but in the last week we have had two experiences that I just have to share. South Africa as you may know used to be ruled by the Apartheid regime which was the systematic separation of the ethnic groups, as a result there is still quite a bit of friction even today, being that Apartheid only "ended" 18 years ago (in some places it feels like it is still going).

In many places in South Africa things have improved but I must share with you two experiences we had this week so that people can understand that there is still changed needed. People in all countries can learn from this I hope.

Story one:
Picture this, a beautiful sunny Saturday morning, a couple (us) are nicely dressed, holding hands and walking through Cape Town. We stop at a tourist sign to read about the history of Cape Town. As we are reading I notice a (white) man crossing the street and approaching us. My radar went up, although he was nicely dressed I was wondering why he was approaching us. He comes over to us and asks me "did you just arrive in South Africa?" I said no. He leans across Gcinisizwe to speak with me directly and says "How long have you known this man for?". I said "This man is my husband". He begins to tell me how a girl he heard about from overseas came to South Africa and was raped by a local (ie: black) man because she got on a bus with him and la la la la la. Although I was quite sympathetic of this girl I began to feel anger inside. I thought "Is this man really coming over to us at 11am on a sunny Saturday morning to warn me that I am going to be raped by a man who I clearly love? (and whom are both wearing wedding rings!!!)" He proceeds to say numerous times to Gcinisizwe "No offense man, no offense" as he continually tells me about me being raped by this man who happens to be my husband. My favorite part of this story is how he says two times "This has nothing to do with race I swear, I am not a racist".

So let me get this clear, it is a lovely warm Saturday morning, you see a black man walking with a white woman, you decide to run across a highway to warn the woman about how the black man will rape her, ignoring the fact that she has already explained to you that he is her husband, and then you tell me that this has nothing to do with race??? I hardly doubt this would have happened to an all-white couple......I must also say that I am shocked to experience this in Cape Town where I would expect people to be more progressive. I must also admit however that we receive a lot of stares even here and it is still very uncommon to see other black-white couples.

Story 2:

Picture this one, so a couple days ago we are leaving Nqiningana, we depart Queenstown and are on our way to Thembalethu. We approach a small town called Paterson and being that we are both hungry we decide to stop for a bite to eat at the town's only diner, which happens to be attached to the town's only gas station. We go inside and place our order at the counter and then sit down at the tables. As I sit there I notice that the only other patrons, two men who ordered pretty much the same thing we did, well they are served by the woman who I would guess owns the place. She brings both of their meals at the same time on a tray and serves them both. Flash forward 6 minutes or so and it is our turn to be served. The same lady (who is white) approaches our table and serves me my food, 2 seconds later another woman (who is black) brings Gcinisizwe his food.

I am puzzled by this and ask Gcinisizwe "Why didn't the woman bring them both at once?" I must admit that my naivety shocks even me sometimes, I suppose that since I grew up in a family who sees only people and not color, and in an area with very little racism that I still feel shocked when I see it. At first I thought that maybe her second hand was full at the time she picked up my plate, or that maybe his food was not ready. But based on the look on his face, the look of embarrassment, shame and disappointment, it was clear to see that this woman refused to serve someone "of his kind". I could see the same look of shame in the black woman's face who served him as they exchanged glances of sadness when she placed the plate down in front of him. I will be sure to never visit this place again, and also to be more aware next time.

So, two stories which just serve to remind us that there is still a lot of work left to be done. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world that we forget that others worlds exists not far from our front door steps. We must continue to fight for equality, fairness and a world without discrimination. Until that time Gcinisizwe and I continue to walk the streets with our heads held high and proud, knowing that one day people will no longer stare in amazement.

xoxoxo

Catherine