I must say that I normally try to keep my posts focused on things of importance but in the last week we have had two experiences that I just have to share. South Africa as you may know used to be ruled by the Apartheid regime which was the systematic separation of the ethnic groups, as a result there is still quite a bit of friction even today, being that Apartheid only "ended" 18 years ago (in some places it feels like it is still going).

In many places in South Africa things have improved but I must share with you two experiences we had this week so that people can understand that there is still changed needed. People in all countries can learn from this I hope.

Story one:
Picture this, a beautiful sunny Saturday morning, a couple (us) are nicely dressed, holding hands and walking through Cape Town. We stop at a tourist sign to read about the history of Cape Town. As we are reading I notice a (white) man crossing the street and approaching us. My radar went up, although he was nicely dressed I was wondering why he was approaching us. He comes over to us and asks me "did you just arrive in South Africa?" I said no. He leans across Gcinisizwe to speak with me directly and says "How long have you known this man for?". I said "This man is my husband". He begins to tell me how a girl he heard about from overseas came to South Africa and was raped by a local (ie: black) man because she got on a bus with him and la la la la la. Although I was quite sympathetic of this girl I began to feel anger inside. I thought "Is this man really coming over to us at 11am on a sunny Saturday morning to warn me that I am going to be raped by a man who I clearly love? (and whom are both wearing wedding rings!!!)" He proceeds to say numerous times to Gcinisizwe "No offense man, no offense" as he continually tells me about me being raped by this man who happens to be my husband. My favorite part of this story is how he says two times "This has nothing to do with race I swear, I am not a racist".

So let me get this clear, it is a lovely warm Saturday morning, you see a black man walking with a white woman, you decide to run across a highway to warn the woman about how the black man will rape her, ignoring the fact that she has already explained to you that he is her husband, and then you tell me that this has nothing to do with race??? I hardly doubt this would have happened to an all-white couple......I must also say that I am shocked to experience this in Cape Town where I would expect people to be more progressive. I must also admit however that we receive a lot of stares even here and it is still very uncommon to see other black-white couples.

Story 2:

Picture this one, so a couple days ago we are leaving Nqiningana, we depart Queenstown and are on our way to Thembalethu. We approach a small town called Paterson and being that we are both hungry we decide to stop for a bite to eat at the town's only diner, which happens to be attached to the town's only gas station. We go inside and place our order at the counter and then sit down at the tables. As I sit there I notice that the only other patrons, two men who ordered pretty much the same thing we did, well they are served by the woman who I would guess owns the place. She brings both of their meals at the same time on a tray and serves them both. Flash forward 6 minutes or so and it is our turn to be served. The same lady (who is white) approaches our table and serves me my food, 2 seconds later another woman (who is black) brings Gcinisizwe his food.

I am puzzled by this and ask Gcinisizwe "Why didn't the woman bring them both at once?" I must admit that my naivety shocks even me sometimes, I suppose that since I grew up in a family who sees only people and not color, and in an area with very little racism that I still feel shocked when I see it. At first I thought that maybe her second hand was full at the time she picked up my plate, or that maybe his food was not ready. But based on the look on his face, the look of embarrassment, shame and disappointment, it was clear to see that this woman refused to serve someone "of his kind". I could see the same look of shame in the black woman's face who served him as they exchanged glances of sadness when she placed the plate down in front of him. I will be sure to never visit this place again, and also to be more aware next time.

So, two stories which just serve to remind us that there is still a lot of work left to be done. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world that we forget that others worlds exists not far from our front door steps. We must continue to fight for equality, fairness and a world without discrimination. Until that time Gcinisizwe and I continue to walk the streets with our heads held high and proud, knowing that one day people will no longer stare in amazement.

xoxoxo

Catherine

The Xhosa culture is extraordinarily beautiful.
Here two Sangoma's are dressed to impress
during their initiation ceremony. 

The day has been non stop, we woke up early to drive to another village to collect grass for our roof, we bought the grass from two ladies who were living without their husbands, they had many children and it was apparent that they were struggling, I am not sure where their husbands were, most likely in Johannesburg or another city, trying to find work. We somehow managed to stuff 2200 bundles of grass into our truck, it took us several trips of course, and also a friend who has a big truck to pick up the bulk of it.

We then returned to Nqiningana and spent the afternoon and evening at a very special cultural celebration to introduce new Sangomas (Witch Doctors) to the village. This is a very special time for me as well because it gives me a chance to get to know my neighbours a little more. I enjoy these occasions so much because women who are ordinarily busy are instead brought together to spend time together.

I love the kids here so much, they are always asking me to take their
picture. Here you can see they are all smiles. 

Tonight a woman sat with me and told me her story. She and her husband once left the village to live in Cape Town, or to be precise, the squatter camp outside of Cape Town which I believe is the second largest slum in Africa behind Kibera in Kenya. After a very long time of not finding work they retreated back to Nqiningana, because at least here they have some dignity. In Cape Town they were crammed into a shack with neighbours all around them, no privacy, too much noise, crime etc. In Nqiningana at least there is peace. This woman was wearing no shoes, she told me that she only has one pair and she only wears them on the rare occasion that she goes to the nearest city, Queenstown. If she wears them in Nqiningana the mud will ruin them and she cannot afford to buy another pair. She, her husband and their 6 young children are really struggling. They survive on R1000 a month, which is about 100 Euro or $125. This amount is of course not even close to being enough to provide food etc. She told me that when the flour and rice run out that she cooks plain corn with tea leaves mixed in it. At least that makes them feel like they have eaten food. After that they do not eat, sadly, this happens often. This woman always smiles, she is so friendly to everyone, but I can see the worry behind that smile, and the stress of not knowing if her children will eat tomorrow. Her children will benefit from the Nqiningana Food Security Project taking place at the school, and she has volunteered to help us to tend to the garden.

I think that it is very important that we help this village by bringing job opportunities here, so that families like this do not have to move to squatter camps with terrible conditions, and so that they have the income needed to buy food and other essentials, like medicine. I looked my friend in the eyes and promised her that I would do everything in my power to help her. And through that promise I turn to you, to help me to help women, men and children just like her who are struggling. Together we can help families to become self sufficient and find the dignity that they have been searching for.

Speaking of smiles, this is one of my neighbours, she is an amazing woman.
Hard working, loving mother and a kind friend. 

The ladies always sit to one side, and the men to another side.
The sun sets on a traditional house while the grandmothers
bask in the last warm moments.